


Walking With You

by PsiHate



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles, Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Couch Cuddles, Depression, Everyone is Supportive, F/M, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Recovery, Romance, Self-Discovery, Self-Doubt, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Trans Female Character, Trans Issues, dromarch and gramps are pets, nia is subjected to he/him a lot since she's closeted, nia will be happy, rex is a huge dork, video game college nerds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsiHate/pseuds/PsiHate
Summary: She's beautiful, he promises. But she can't see it.After running from her past for far too long, Nia denies herself any thoughts of happiness and relaxation. After all, why would someone like her deserve to live a life she stole? After an odd meeting with a cute dork named Rex, she finds the shackles suffocating her heart slipping. Will she fall in on herself, or will he be there to catch her?=====This story will contain a lot of dark themes, but in the end I hope to give Nia the happiness she deserves.Also note that for some time, Nia will be referred to as male. This is because she refuses to give herself the satisfaction of her desired identity, hiding it. This can be triggering to read for some and even to write for me, but I know something like this story is what I need to express.This is also my first attempt at writing a story in years, so any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading!
Relationships: Kagutsuchi | Brighid/Meleph | Mòrag Ladair, Nia/Rex (Xenoblade Chronicles 2), Zeke von Genbu/Saika | Pandoria
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	Walking With You

Twilight clouds quickly turned dark as they drifted above in the sky, lightning streaking through as rain enveloped the streets below. A young child with messy silver hair shivers uncontrollably as they walk through the cold and empty street. The constant beat of their heart overwhelms their senses. ‘It’s too much. It’s too much!` they cry. 

They break out into a blind sprint, tears and rain making it far too hard to see. 

‘Why her? Why couldn’t it have been me?’ they scream to themself, choking on air as they continue to run. They run, for hours they run, regardless if they have the energy. They run. They never stop running. 

***

**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**

He waited.

**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**

Eye twitching, he started to growl in frustration.

**BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP**

“Alright alright! I get it!” The Gormotti mumbled, propping himself onto his side and shutting down the alarm that rang annoyingly on his bedside table. With his ears no longer being blasted with electronic sirens, he sits for a few moments before groggily pulling himself out of bed, stumbling to his bathroom to get ready for the day. He goes along with his business, brushing his hair and teeth as Dromarch, his adorably lazy cat, nudges at his side from the counter. He chuckles lightly and brushes the cat’s fur lovingly. 

“Did you get enough sleep, Dromarch?” he asked the cat, who purred in return. His owner smiled, looking at the mirror to make sure he didn’t look half asleep still. Despite his best efforts however, he felt wrong. Nothing was right. He wasn’t right. He will never be right. 

He looked at his shoulders, broad and angular. His hips were slim, his chest was flat. His face.. He couldn’t bear to stare too long. He quickly slathered shaving cream across his jaw, taking his razor and getting rid of the light shadow plaguing his face. As he finished, he rinsed his hands and face, fully woken up by now.

Nia lamented over his body, seeking every imperfection to fuel his hatred of it. It was wrong. He desperately wanted to live true to himself. He wanted to be real, to be genuine, to be a girl. To have the body that he could accept. But.. he couldn’t. Memories and anxieties plagued his mind. He didn’t deserve it, did he? After everything that happened, he had no right to divulge into such happiness. He didn’t deserve it. Not at all.

“Mrrrau!” 

Dromarch mewled, snapping NIa out of his thoughts. He took one last glance at his thin and flat frame, before picking up Dromarch and taking him towards the kitchen to feed him. As Nia got around to setting some food and water into the feline’s bowls, he hummed a little tune as he watched Dromarch feast up for the morning. He glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing it was around half past 8 in the morning. He let out a yawn as he stretched, grabbing an apple and nibbling on it as he walked back to his room to get dressed. 

After putting on his favorite yellow zip up hoodie and black skinny jeans, he’s ready for the day. He checks his phone for any notifications, only to be met with nothing. He chuckles sadly to himself, finding it ironic how he hopes to find messages from people despite making an effort to avoid talking in general. Just another habit he doesn’t know how to break, he thinks as he puts his shoes on. Grabbing his bag of art supplies, Nia whistles to call Dromarch’s attention as to prepare the cat’s harness for their morning stroll. Once all set up and in order, He opens the door with Dromarch in tow and locks it shut, making his way to Fonsett Park. 

***

After walking for about 10 minutes, Nia and Dromarch finally reach Fonsett Park. He stands on the concrete path bordering around the huge park, absorbing the wonderful sight of nature before him. He listens to all the vibrant sounds around him, the birds singing, the children and animals playing, the serenity of it all. He loves this park, it reminds him of home. Before.. No. No use in comparing it. It would never be home. Be as it may, he continues, walking towards the more secluded area of the park.

He finds a nice spot in the shade under the tallest tree in the park, leaning his back against it and having Dromarch explore a bit around them. He smiles at the view. After how bad the weather has been lately, it’s been hard to leave the house, so this is a welcome return to scenery. Being beneath his favorite tree, he takes his sketchbook out and begins to sketch out random things on his mind. He needed something to keep his mind occupied this morning, so he drew. 

Nia lightly scans around him, watching families and pets relax. A family rests down the hill, having a nice morning picnic. Two parents and their daughters bask in the morning sun. He starts to wonder what it’d be like to share his mornings with those other than Dromarch, experiencing life each day as it comes, little by little -- but his thoughts are quickly dashed as he hears an eccentric yell nearby. 

“Gramps! Get back ‘ere! Hey lady, watch out!” 

He turns his head in surprise towards the sound, laying his eyes on the source. Before him was a huge Tibetan Mastiff barreling in his direction. 

‘Architect, that’s the largest animal I’ve ever seen!’ Nia stares dumbfoundedly, watching the huge form run towards him, too amazed to realize that he was about to get run over. Dromarch spots the absolute unit his owner was looking at and starts hissing, standing in between Nia and the gigantic animal. The massive dog slows down to a stop in front of Dromarch, panting heavily as it laid down before them. Behind the titan came it’s master, running as fast as he could towards them.

“So sorry ma’am!” he yelled, laughing joyfully only to trip over a rock and face planting in the dirt several feet away. 

“What the hell?” Nia finally spoke, quickly getting up and grabbing Dromarch before he could get too riled up. He lightly jogged over to the boy as he picked himself off the ground, wiping dirt off his face. While he rose, Nia took a closer look at him. The boy looked to be a similar age as himself, but was much taller and had a little more tone to his body. He had short chocolate-colored hair, and was wearing a plain blue sleeveless shirt along with yellow running shorts. What Nia wasn’t expecting, however, were his eyes.

Brushing his hands through his hair to get rid of any excess dirt, he looked at Nia and smiled. Nia was starstruck. The boy’s eyes were of a golden yellow hue, a sun shining bright in the darkness, and Nia found himself staring far too long. 

“You ‘right lady?” he said, and Nia was once again knocked out of his trance. Lady? Did the boy think Nia was a girl? His face heated up at the thought. It was everything he wanted, but he knew he was getting distracted again, no matter how nice the idea of it was. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the faint blush on his face, before looking at the boy once again. 

“W-what was that all about?” Nia questioned, watching the boy in front of him grin a little more. 

“Well, I was taking Gramps for a walk, and something caught his attention an’ he bolted before I could get a hold of him proper.” He explained, before making a sly expression.  
“Maybe he thought you were cute?” he winked.

Nia almost choked on his saliva as he sharply inhaled in surprise, coughing as he tried to clear up his lungs. 

His control over his demeanor slipped, quickly losing his smirk as he broke out into panic as he tried to help Nia, patting his back. “Shit! Sorry, sorry, that was really inappropriate” he quickly followed up, stepping back a bit after Nia had recovered and got some air.

“I shouldn’t be joking like that to a stranger, even if she’s as cute,” He murmured, walking towards his dog and reapplying the leash. “I’m Rex, by the way. My dog’s name is Azurda, but I call ‘im Gramps. Nice to meet you..?” 

Nia, suffice to say, wasn’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t experienced with talking to people casually, so he was at a loss, usually only sitting in the far reclusive spots in the park to make up for lack of social time. Not to mention he had almost ungracefully suffocated in front of this stranger after that comment, so things weren’t really at a great start.

“Well.. Rex, nice to meet you. The name’s Nia, and this,” he grunts as he holds up his cat, “is Dromarch, the laziest cat in all of Alrest” Nia finishes, Dromarch mewling and hissing at the resting Gramps below. 

Rex gives an appraising look at the two of them and smiles. Architect, his smile is pure. Too pure for Nia. But despite his internal negativity, he can’t help but smile back. Warmth floods his heart, and it startles him. This feeling is unfamiliar. It’s scary. It’s pure.  
  
It’s wrong. 

Rex takes a seat on the ground, petting his dog, Gramps. He beckons Nia over, showing him his greatest companion. “You might ‘ave seen him run towards you like you were the tastiest bone in Alrest, but in reality he’s a lazy bum.” Rex explains, chuckling as Nia gives him a questioning look. “Trust me, this is the most he’s moved in years. Sometimes I ‘ave to drag him out of the house to get some fresh air” he elaborates, rubbing his belly. “I dunno why he was so excited about you two, but I can’t say it wasn’t a welcome change!”

Nia grinned, his body feeling relaxed. He sits down beside Rex, placing Dromarch down beside Gramps, who sits cautiously near him. “Sounds like Gramps has Dromarch beat in the laziness department. Dromarch at least likes his walks” he giggled, before closing his mouth shut and clearing his throat. He felt a pang of anxiety wash through him. ‘You’re being too casual’ it tells him. ‘Have you forgotten?’ it reminds him. He lets out a deep breath, trying to ignore those thoughts. Something about today just feels like a step in the right direction. A piece in a scattered puzzle. To where it may lead, or what the final picture will be, he does not know.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

He jolts slightly, now aware that time is indeed still moving. He looks at Rex, who is looking at him with curiosity and concern in his eyes. Oh, his eyes.. 

“I-It’s nothing much” he admits, wondering why he didn’t flat out lie to him. “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Not sure what I am doing or where I’ll be going, that sort of thing” he explains vaguely. He questions why he is confiding in this stranger, despite locking away himself from the world. ‘Am I really that desperate?’ Nia questions himself. 

Rex takes his eyes off of Nia and gives Dromarch his attention. He thinks for a few moments, contemplating his response. Finally, he speaks. “I think it’s valid to worry ‘bout those kinds of things. I may not know you or what you want to do or be, but something tells me that, whatever it is, you will come out a stronger person ‘cause of it.” He scratches the back of his head, thinking of what else to say. “What I think is that if you’re left focusing on what could have been, instead of working on what’s already there, you’ll never find what makes you happy. Rule #4 of the Salvager’s code: Open a chest, it might turn out great. Until then it’s just a crate!” he finishes, beaming as he salutes.

Nia almost rolls his eyes at his declaration. But he doesn’t. As silly as what he said is, something is tugging at his heart, telling him that it’s true. He can’t keep himself from laughing though. 

“You know, I think you’re onto something” he nods. “Though, if you keep saying corny shit like that, everybody’s just gonna think you’re a cheeky weirdo” Nia teases. 

Rex looks at him in astonishment, clearly offended about the mocking of his beloved creed. He pouts and sticks his tongue out like a child, and Nia actually rolls his eyes that time, smiling at his cute antics.

“You into art?” Rex asks after a few moments, pointing at the open sketchbook laying against the grass.

“O-Oh? Yeah..” Nia answers, picking up his sketchbook and flipping through a few pages. “I want to someday create new worlds with my art. Worlds where everything is beautiful” he whispers. 

Rex takes a glance at his art, admiring the dedication and the vibrant detail of characters and environments. “Nia, this is gorgeous..” he stares in awe. He looks back to Nia, observing his face. As beautiful as his art is, Rex thinks that Nia is the fountain of beauty in which his art pulls from. He wants to tell him that, but holds his tongue. It’d have to wait, he can’t risk it yet. However, he decides to tell Nia of his own interests.

“You know, I completely understand what you mean” Rex sighs. “I want to be a game designer, ‘nd create worlds with my art. I want people to have a place to see beauty even if there isn’t enough to go ‘round in the real world.”

Nia’s looks up, bewildered at his statement. “You want to create worlds too?” he excitedly asks, finally meeting someone with a common goal. Rex nods, and a brilliant idea pops into his head.

“Hey, Nia.. Do you go to school anywhere here?” Rex asks.

“No, I’ve been doing freelance art for a few years, but I’ve never gone to school for anything like that. Why do you ask?” Nia responds, curious. 

Rex gives a warm, excited smile as he asks his next question. “I ask because I plan on enrolling to the University of Elysium for their course on game design and development. I have a group of like minded friends who want to pursue our dreams of a new world where everything is beautiful.. I think you’d be a solid fit in our team, if you wanted to pursue your art through the medium of video games.” he pitches. “There’ll be an open house this Friday with all the booths available advertising their courses, in case you had anything else in mind. I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?”

Nia absorbs his words, trying to register what Rex is telling him. Before he can get too far into his thought process, he’s quickly interrupted.

*beep!*

“Ah!” Rex gasps, quickly fishing his phone out of his pocket after being alerted to the message waiting for him. After a few moments, he sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “Well, I’d love to stay and talk with you about this, Nia, but it looks like I’m needed at work today after all.” He frowns slightly, but after a moment his smile is back and all is right in the world. “Hey, I know we got off to a weird start, but maybe we could see each other again?” He asks, relaxed and casual, as if he never had a worry in the world about being rejected. 

Nia contemplated for a moment. He had just met this guy out of nowhere at the park, but Nia felt comfortable around him. He was stunning, and he had this aura of pureness and warmth that confused Nia. He never went out of his way to make friends, but now someone has come to him, seeking to get to know him better. He even offered Nia an outlet to realize his dream. Nia was afraid of being hurt, and didn’t want to hurt anyone either. But.. he was so lonely, it had been years since he had someone or someplace to look forward to seeing. After some more thought, Nia decided that it wouldn’t hurt to have him around and try out this idea. It was better than nothing, and Nia was tired of ‘nothing’. 

“Y’know what?” Nia started, smiling. ”Sure, but any weird shite and I’ll bash your head in proper” he teased as he wrote his number on an empty page of his sketchbook, tearing off the piece and handing it to Rex. 

“Really!?” He almost squealed before quickly straightening himself up, apparently not expecting Nia to accept despite his prior casualness. Architect, he was a dork. “I’ll see you later then, Nia!” He grinned, before getting up and heading off in a run home with Gramps right behind.

Nia looked at his form getting farther as he ran across the park, before quickly realizing that he never corrected Rex about his gender. Something inside him told him, screamed at him to fix it, to remind him that he was being lied to. But something else felt good at the thought of being a girl to Rex. Both feelings clashed, and throughout the night, after all had been said and done, Nia couldn’t decide. His guilt ate at him that night as he laid in bed, not sleeping a wink. Eventually he got up from bed and started to draw that of a boy clad in blue gear riding a great flying titan journeying towards a great tree.

‘What do I want?’

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! Thanks for reading!! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did writing it.  
> I'll be working on updates as I find time and motivation, but ADHD is a pain in the butt so we'll see how that goes.
> 
> I'm really into Xenoblade and other nice fandoms so if you ever want to chat, you can find me on twitter, tumblr, discord! Info in my profile <3


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